I miss him. More than he knows. I'm not trying to be emotional or dramatic. I love him.

The next (one..or two) years will be hard. But on my part I am going to try to be strong for him. I want to support him in everything, and be there.

work seems so repeatitive. I guess cause it is (duh). same old every day. I guess the fun is found where (you) try to make the days new or happy. I like making customers smile. knowing they walked away in a better mood because of how I treated them. keeping a smile on my face is definitely worth it when it rubs off on them. I think I am learning alot from this.

happy birthday vicki.

and goodnight.

It's raining hard. I couldn't be happier, my boy is home!

Today is the best movie-watching, board game-playing, junk food-eating day ever. go take advantage of being stuck in the house. unless of course you have no good movies, stupid games and lousy junk food.

I have decided after four days of Mark being away, that I want him back here now. I was incredibly blessed over the summer to see him almost every single day. I guess I was spoiled with that. I miss him. Even though he does have a very enjoyable voice...which makes phone conversations nice..I want hugs and holding hands.

Work has been so busy lately. Someone mentioned back to school shopping. It could be that I guess. But it makes time go by faster, so I'm not going to complain.

Has anyone done/read a really good devotional? I have a daily one called Everything Counts, it's a student version to Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest. My mom likes my version better. :) I am looking for more of a workbook though. Or...a really good book with lots of good quotes and Bible verses that I can highlight and/or write down.

Over the past couple of years, I have been writing down things that encourage me and looking back at them. I have been blessed even more. Mikala got me this keychain that has like a hundred little pink papers where I can write quotes and verses and keep it in my purse. It is awesome. I highly recommend every go to OCC and pick one up today, they have them in blue..and I think purple too :-p

So I started writing in a blog. Then I told Mark about it. He's like why!!...haha, anyway, I stopped writing here cause everyone else did anyway. If I write, Mark's gotta write :-p. We'll see ;).

So in the past 6 months, Mark and I celebrated 1 year( in June ). He just left for college yesterday. Thank goodness he'll be home on the weekends.

I am still at panera...

oh and we got a new dog. His name is Qy..( rhymes with ty ). Ty was his original name, but my dad decided to change it. By his definition, Qy means SON OF SUKA( our old dog ). He trained and worked with police, so he intimidated me at first. I'm getting used to him now. He's very friendly, I just don't want to see him angry :).

My mom's cleaning the kitchen floor. She just came over to show me how dirty the water she used became. Nasty...

I wanna get a laptop. Graduation gift...a little late, but I hadn't decided for sure, until now, what I wanted. Originally I thought maybe a cd player for my car, I'm just using one of those tape connector things. The only bad thing is that it uses up batteries. oh well...I can live with that.

...

yeah that's all.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

that's it. snow is now my enemy.

there's this amazing guy that I know, and he's mine...oh my goodness I can't believe that he's MINE!

I said a prayer that someday I would find a boy and together we'll find joy..maybe someday. And he would care about the color of the sky, about the things that make me cry, maybe someday. If it happens this is what I'd say...Baby, yeah..and I will give you my life, together we'll make it right, and I will say to you what is for sure. Let me tell you that I would give you my world and baby I'll be your girl and everything I have is yours. I wonder if maybe God has shown him he is the one who's gonna marry me, maybe someday. So I'm gonna wait, cause I'm worth waiting for and what I'm worth is so much more, oh that someday. And if it happens this is what I'll say, I will give you my life and together we'll make it right, and I will say to you what is for sure. I will give you my world and baby I'll be your girl and I will say to you that everything I have is yours. ;) -Stacie Orrico

This weekend...or well, this whole past week has been really good. My brothers, T and the girls are down, and Julie and Layla are getting cuter each time I see them. I know all aunts are supposed to think/say that...but I'm sure everyone would agree with me :). I spent the weekend with wonderful family and friends, alot of laughs too...and food, and sleeping!(for real.) Well...I can't stay in my room long, all this kitty dander will get to me. <3 jeN :-p

I like my mom, she's a sillyhead.

I am so looking forward today and the freezing cold air, because I will be with you. And you make me oh so happy...even when you decide not to write in your lj as often as I do :-p
..one week until Christmas Eve...it seems like it's coming so fast and yet it seems like it should already be here and gone. but I'm glad it hasn't passed yet...this year will be a good one :)

tag is my favorite game.

rent was great.

I love these phone conversations.

You've been more wonderful to me than I could have ever imagined
You've shown more love than I could show in a thousand words
Though it seems at times like it all means nothing to me
You've gotta know that I love You
You've gotta know that I need You

Those words make me cry out to God and want to put my attention no where else. To just lay down my heart and love Him.

God's given these amazing words to Aaron Shust...check him out.

Some people say true love is mere chance, but I beg to differ


Love is so beautiful baby when you find it

You better cherish it yeah yeah




Well she was praying for something not doubt

He was praying for something

So they were both praying for something



Fast forward 40 years through peace and arguments

They still hold hands on that old park bench

Birds serenade they kiss twice, kids play & thank Christ

For giving them life and abundance of blessings

-dj maj

mon homme, je t'aime.

I should just go into business for myself. Start a brand new exciting company that everyone wants to be a part of. Sure...it'll take alot of money and time at first, which I don't have(the money part anyway, my free time is overabundant, if that's a word) but, I feel lke I have no other choice. No one pays good, no one has good hours, and no one wants to hire someone who won't happily accept what they want to give! ugh. I could color pages and then rip them from the book and sell them on ebay..saying Elvis or Madonna ACTUALLY COLORED THIS PICTURE OF CINDERELLA 30 YEARS AGO!! And maybe even forge a signature. I wonder if anyone would go for that. One of my problems is that I don't make the most of my time. I prettymuch decided that I don't want to work anywhere around where I live..so I haven't made an effort. I read, or write, or even go to my friends house for the day...then come home sleep and do that again. Today...I changed my routine a bit. I went to barnes and noble and asked for an application. Unfortunately...they aren't the picky ones..I AM!! I wonder if that's costing me a job. If I changed my mind and decided I wanted to work nights instead of mornings, and applied...I could probably get the job. So why don't I? It's a paycheck!! I can't though. It would get like panera and I would have no time for anybody that I care about. I would sit around the house during the day..then go to work when they get home from school..and I would wind up working the nights they had off. So...I want a morning/afternoon job. Is that really a bad thing? I dont think it is. I would love you for any ideas, prayer and/or encouragement :).

Orange Pineapple ...um Drink :)

1/2 container of vanilla yogurt
1 cup or orange juice
1/2 cup or pineapple/colada juice stuff
frappeed...ohh man :-D
strawberries would be awesome too.
the only thing it's lacking is froth.

I love happy people.
I love people who tell me how they feel about..anything.
I love snail mail.
I love taking pictures, and looking through pictures and having pictures cover every inch of my walls.
I love my family.
I love sleeping in the winter :-p...not hibernating:)
I love walking and talking.
I love slow songs.
I love the piano.
I love worship music and closing my eyes.
I love fun pens.
I love sparkles and girly things.
I love bowling and mini golf.
I love driving with loud music.
I love kids.
I love journals.
I love writing.
I love being creative.
I love color me mine.
I love doing nothing but spending quality time.
I love puzzles, with no distractions.
I love reading cards at the store.(friend's company needed)
I love socks.
I love dressing up for special occasions.
I love my cat.
I love my dog. :-p (s)
I love pajamas.
I love pillows and...everything that is need to sleep comfortably.
I love memories.
I love cool earrings.
I love the cheesecake factory.
I love zoos.
I love traveling.
I love reading.
I love letting my imagination go.
I love Melody Carlson and Francine Rivers.
I love kids' drawings.
I love the park.
I love walking on trails.
I love anklets.
I love homemade gifts.
I love making homemade gifts.
I love getting haircuts.
I love putting makeup on.
I love listening.
I love talking too. :)
I love seeing fish symbols on cars.
I love great lyrics.
I love applying God's word to my life.
I love talking about God.
I love long meaningful conversations with other teens.
I love adults who give me the time of day and truly care.
I love riding my bike.
I love thunderstorms.
I love power outages.
I love photo booths.
I love the beach in the evening.
I love rainbows.
I love coloring books.
I love when silly people know when to be serious.
I love Michael W. Smith's Freedom cd.
I love seeing the sun through the trees.
I love when the moon is orange.
I love playgrounds, especially swings.
I love black and white cookies.
I love family parties.
I love card games.
I love rope/tire swings.
I love hammocks also.
I love new clothes.
I love symphany bars.
I love retreats.
I love ping pong and foosball.
I love palm trees. :)
I love lilies.
I love white dr. scholls.
I love silly faces.
I love trying to quote movies.
I love always being corrected for quoting the movie wrong.
I love Starbucks.


ps. while scanning the crayola aisle for new markers, I caught sight of something new and wonderful. the 96 pack of crayons has been bumped from it's "most crayons sold in one box" slot. 120 is my new favorite number :-p

I always thought that the Bible was more of a salad thing, but it isn't, it's a chocolate thing. - Blue Like Jazz

Enjoy each day to the fullest. Is that in the Bible? I'm not sure. But lately I've been thinking about where I'll be in the next 6 months, especially with needing a job and college being a possiblity. So I'm thinking..6 months, what's it gonna be, then I remember that I am in NOW. Why not enjoy it and be thankful for each day that God creates individually for us.

this is the weirdest entry ever cause I wrote that ^ at like 3. Now it is 9:46, I just got home and remembered that I had minimized this cause my dad brought my car home!! yay. there are a few little things that still need to be fixed, but I'm lovin it. I'm sitll trying to figure out where I want to put my dependant stinker...but the fish is on!! :)

ps. also the most random entry...

I was at vic the other day and I was looking through her documents on her computer..lol I'm nosy:), nah jk..I've seen everything in there before, anyway I came across a wordpad with something I wrote about her a while ago for my "subprofile entry" it was really cute and it brought back funny memories. there are just so many years between us and so much to laugh about. I remember once going into a whatchumacallit building..some kind of important county building..and vic and I were in a crazy mood. I guess it was just the bathrooms but we saw a sign that sign MEN...and one of us was like "they keep the men in there". lol, maybe a had to be there kind of joke..I hate them..hahah, cause I feel so stupid after I tell them and I feel so out of the loop when I hear them. but this is the kind of thing that you repeat and laugh about long after it happens cause you almost remember the exact way your stomach hurt from laughing so hard about it. One of my favorite things:)

another thing though is seriousness. so alot of people think that it is just another word for boring. yeah, that's your opinion :). I get so caught up in these subjects sometimes, it's almost fun, definitely enjoyable. haha roll your eyes or laugh at me :) I can take it. but when a conversation comes up that makes you think...but what to tell the other person all about what you are thinking at the same time I just want to get something to drink and sit there for hours! and I have. but it really takes two. It's also really awesome when the other person is God. It's not as much verbal bakc and forth conversation. but He makes me feel like He is there sitting with me. I feel like, I don't want this to be over, ever. That is why I take Him with me everywhere:)

Mikala got me this awesome keychain thing that has a pack of papers attached to it. So I can write cool and encouraging verses or quotes for myself. It got me so excited. haha, Ugh I can't help laughing at myself...just a bit different.

Vic and I sat oustide...I think it was yesterday(I've been there like all week!) anyway...we just sat on the foam squares in her backyard. Doing nothing..just scratching at them..and randomly bringing something new up. I told her that I wish I could sit down in the middle of my room and play with my barbies like I used to..what like...how many weeks ago? :-p jk..when I was like 10. My imagination just isn't the same, I would sit there like..jess, why are you pretending to make these dolls flirt with eachother? they have no feeling and they can't make any facial expressions. so oh well. It was like a retreat when I was younger. But my mind just won't go there anymore. I guess I need to find more mature things to fill my time with..like reading :). The cool thing about that though is that it also takes a good amount of imagination, if it's fiction anyway. Books get your mind reeling and the stories come alive. I hope I never grow out of that.

I decided that I want to stay 18 longer. I don't know why I like this age, but it seems like it went by way too fast.

The rain sounds so beautiful right now.

good night.